Feeling Full

Goodnight or good morning? It's about 2AM and I have totally turned my hours. Sleep during the morning/day and up all night.

I am doing my laundry now since someone stole my time yesterday. I am happy to get some clean sheets and clothes today.

I feel at the moment pretty ok, I just started a new course in school so I hope it will keep my occupied!
My old roommate Sara is going to stay over tomorrow and the day after. It really has been a long time since we last hanged out. I am happy to see her, it is going to be fun. Like a mini reunion…

Anyhow, I am going back to Stockholm during this weekend. It's going to be fun to be with the family. My sisters friend also has her birthday so we are going to this Full Moon Party on friday. I have always wanted to go to this UV-colour body paint party so it is hopefully going to be fun. It's also going to be my first day out as single. I have mostly been at home for a month so it's time to get myself together and live my life.

Break the Rules

It difficult to move on, everyone is different. 

I have decided to forget about him until he contacts me again then I'll have to see how I feel then. 

I need to focus. I can't trow away my life entirely, I still have a family who cares about me and my future. I want to live, I want to experience life, I want to feel alive again. 

This songs implies how I feel about everything right now. I am totally gone to "live without boundaries". Forget everything and just YOLO! 

Broken

Looking back at my recent Q/A blog post makes deeply sad. I was so happy. What happened?

About a month ago my boyfriend and I agreed to go separate ways, because we couldn't take the long distance and the jealousy. I've never felt such regret in my life. How could this happen… We were together almost 16months. I seriously regret not taking things serious when it was needed. I just thought it wasn't such a big deal and pretended that everything was ok…When I realized it was a huge problem it was too late. I reacted to slow, I really thought we would be good again and that I learned a lesson for putting problems aside. However, it might be a lesson for life.

How did our love end? Or is it still there? I am still terribly confused.
I just wished we were back together, back to when we were happy and didn't care. Falling in love and having fun. Building new memories and just living the moment.

He's still not speaking with me right now, it breaks my heart over and over the more he pushes me away. We literally used to talk everyday on fb or Skype. I've tried to talk to him but he has already set his mind on being single.

"I'm mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attached, for making him my life, depending on him, wasting my time on him, thinking about him, forgiving him, wishing for him, dreaming of him, but most of all, for not hating him.. I just can't. "

If we just got another chance, or if I could just redo everything. I just can't stop wishing, dreaming… when will it stop. Will he ever be mine again? I wish… :(

Sinking ship

I feel like my life is falling apart. I can't study, I can't think, I can't concentrate.
The worst is I can't eat or sleep properly. When I'm dreaming and waking up feeling mega lonely and reality then hits me.

No cuddly loving boyfriend. Just me against the world. Yes, reality hasn't really 100% hit me yet. I need to get over him but all I can think of is he coming back to me. Waiting for him to write…

I know it's unhealthy but I just can't help it. I have mega exams coming up and I haven't began studying yet. All I do is stay at home crying and listening to sad songs. I can't even watch series yet since it reminds me of what we used to do a lot together. So basically everything reminds me of him. Everything sucks.

He doesn't care for me anymore. He only lies about it but then I still want him. Despite how cold he has been pushing me away makes me want to fight more… what am I doing?? …

45 Q/A

1: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Taken :D

2: What if I told you that you were pretty? Thank you, hihi! ^_^ 

3: Are you interested in anyone right now? Of course

4: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? I guess it's right now

5: Last three things you had to drink? Milk, water, chocolate cocoa milkshake thingy

6: Have you pretended to like someone? No

7: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? No

8: Is it hard for you to get over someone? Probably yes, I do get atteched easily

9: Think back five months ago, were you single? No

10: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Sleepin

11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Sure , but not yet HAHA.

12: Do you miss anyone? Always

13: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? No

14: Have you ever cried from being so mad? Many times

15: Who did you last see in person? Julia

16: Are you listening to music right now? No watching Lost at the same time

17: What is something you currently want right now? Sleep, eat and repeat.

18: What is the last thing you said out lot? Going to eat now...

19: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? If it is raining.

20: Are you wearing socks? No..

21: What do people call you? Marshi

22: Will you talk to the person you like, tonight? 24/7<3

23: Are there any stressful situations in your life? Yes! My whole life is a stressy mess

24: Do you get stressed out easily? Sometimes...

25: Will you sing today? Not right now.. it's past midnight...

26: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? My bf or closest friends/sister

27: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Nope

28: What are you listening to right now? Lost...

29: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? Working shirt.

30: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate ofc.

31: Do you make wishes at 11:11? No only to stars, hehe...

32: Are you a good artist? I'm tone-deaf 

33: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? Yes

34: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? Not at all

35: Ever been on a golf cart? Yes, in Thailand. It was so fun, I drove like a maniac. 

36: Do you have trust issues? Yes, but it is getting better

37: Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yes

38: Do you use chap stick? When I remember then yes. 

39: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Hahaha yessss….

40: Do you have a little sister? Nope, I am the youngest.

41: Have you ever been to New York? Unfortunately not :/

42: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I'm positive

43: Have you hugged someone within the last week? Yaaaa

44: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Maaany people~~

45: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Yes ofc, only one person gets to kiss me haha...

22 Jumpstreet

Hombre, if you haven't seen this movie you don't know how funny it is! I thought it wasn't going to be as good as part one, but it turned out to be same amount of funniness. I don't want to spoil anything, so I will leave and say watch the trailer and see for yourself if you haven't! 

Midsummer - 22 Jumpstreet

I'v been "busy, busy doing nothing at all! Don't bother to call!"Just joking, I have been taking lectures for my new working place, which is one of the reason why I haven't blogged.

During midsummer I went out with Satu, Wille and Julia to eat some sushi/yakiniku!

Some more sushi, nom nom!

And we met up Amanda and Jasmin at the cinema at saw 22 Jumpstreet. 

and off some strawberry daiquiri! My favorite drink! ^^ It's pink!! :D

When will the bass drop

My bf introduced this song recently with The Lonely Island ft. Lil Jon - When will the bass drop? I actually thought it was catchy and the beginning of the MV, when Davinci play computer game and fries eggs was quite funny! 

-Turn up the death! haha 

Wave, smile and do whatever you are best at...

Size In The Park

Hey, a few weeks ago I went to "Size in the Park" (May 17th) at Stockholm (Kungsträdgården) with my friends. Steve Angello from Swedish House Mafia performed and some other DJ. It's available to stream on VIAPLAY, I haven't check it out yet. To describe shortly; Size in the Park is a free entrance 
concert and supposed to be "party of the year" with Steve Angello. 

How was my experience of Size in the park?
-INTENSE! There was about 30 000 people allowed in to the park, and about  30 000 other people that were not allowed to enter, surrounding the park. With intense I meant crowded as hell, sweaty and loud music. The music was great but the people were horrible. 

Firstly, people pushing around and stepping on your feet. But there will always be pushing and so on during concerts so not much to comment on that.

Secondly, when it's so crowded and people get stupid idea to smoke cigarette right in the middle of the crowed. I was so afraid I was going to get burned. Also I felt sorry for them, because they can't help being stupid. I mean go to a spot where you can at least put your arms around you or something. I mean we are standing like sardines. It was like his hand was up in the air and my question was how the hell are you going to put out that cigarette without burning anyone? I get it people have "cravings" to smoke but at least you can use your brain somehow. 

(This picture… I don't even need to describe it. )

Thirdly, Breakdancers? Seriously, who breakdance middle of a crowd? Making a circle doesn't make it safe. The funny part was a boy who did a "flip" and almost kicked his friend on the head. I was like dude, are you brain dead or what? Breakdance in a sardine crowd makes no sense at all… -.-

(picture taken by Satu, Amanda and my iPhone)

Lastly, the music was good. Steve Angello did his thing and all. I especially like the light affects and the fireworks. However, last comments me and my friends stated. "We are too old for this shit"… haha and honestly it's fun and all, but I think I am going to lay on free concerts with more than 10 000 guests! haha or if even that. We will have to see, I hope it's not going to be that enjoying at Summerburst. But lucky it's limited tickets and 18+ so people won't bring their kids and I will be with my boyfriend so that will be fun and something I am looking forward to! I hope there won't be as annoying people as there was at Size in the Park! 

Parfym.se

Right now, I should be studying. . . But instead I am online shopping perfume from Parfym.se. Thinking of purchasing CLEAN Warm Cotton and Juicy Couture as my summer fragrance. I love their individual smell of clean laundry and sweet flower blossom. 

Also, I need some new mascara so I am going to try out L'oreals Extra Volume Collagene Waterproof Mascara. I have heard from friends and read online that L'oreals line of Volume Collagene is supposed to be very good. Although, I am going to buy the waterproof version" and usually waterproof is said not to be as "good" as normal mascara but at least it won't smudge, which is what I am looking for. 

Lastly, you can never go wrong with some Victoria Secret. I love their fragrant but I prefer EdP rather than mist, but the price is low so no biggie. I am going to purchase their body lotion too for only 79SEK!! 

Hm… Going to look around some more and than I am going to study! Smell you later! 

Calvin Harris - Summer

Love the Summer breeze

Trying out my new skirt from H&M! I'm starting to get into this summer weather! 

Hot, hot, hot! Although, it was kind of windy today and blew my skirt towards all directions.. 

Therefore, my recomandation is to not wear a maxi skirt with a high cut when it's windy!! 

Enough about that! Have a nice evening!

Alien

Hey, it's been awesome weather the entire week in Västerås. Finally, I can wear some nicer clothes and look decent! Don't you agree??

The Farts F+ Story

Need to fart… Just joking. 

It has been a long time since I last posted an entry. Why? Well university is killing my as and free time. For instance, tomorrow I have an exam on Microeconomics, which is busting my balls. I think more than 50% have failed the last exam (I did not attend to it), but this time I want to greet it and stare at the paper for 45minutes. Anyhow, I will have to do the re-exam at august and probably have studied to it for next time. 

I think you get my university life now. KAOS. - I am a lazy student. Too much stress and anxiety. I hope you guys have had a better time than me!

Either way I have to study more, therefor I have not been able to blog, have not been able to live or other reasons. I will try to write more soon. When I am free, or when my fart is free.

But for now. Take care!

Xoxo Sheen!

Just Me

Feeling slightly Ego, heheh peace! 

Mine and only

Oil, nail polish and Soju shopping

Done some shopping online and bought some oil.

Jojoba, Almond and Argan oil. Non toxic and benefits for skin and hair.  

Gold Ciate and White IsaDora nail polish.

 A bottle of South Korean Vodka, Soju! 

"2NE1 - Come Back Home MV"

This is one of my favorite song from 2NE1's latest album. Although I prefer the unplugged version.

I don't know why I do this all the time...